Dragonforce: Sonic Firestorm

All Right! Listen up Metalbrains! I know there’re a lot of you out there sayin’ to yerselves, “when will there be a band that combines the falsetto madness of Bruce Dickinson, the most enormously skull-cracking speed metal riffs this side of Slayer and the artistic soul of Journey.” Well look no further my friends, for Dragonforce has arrived laying waste and burnination to all who oppose their dragony awesomosity. I’m serious, the first time I heard this album I shit my pants; the first rippin’ ass guitar solo came on and blew the shit directly out of my ass. If you ever wish to be mistaken for a person with at least one testicle you will go out immediately and buy this album, I mean you can’t give me one good reason why you wouldn’t….What do you mean you don’t have any money?! Why the fuck would that matter, go out and steal the motherfucker! This is the kind of album that makes your dick bigger. My girlfriend has even sprouted a huge purple cock from listening to it so much. No more bitching, no more excuses, go buy Sonic Firestorm, the most kickinest assenest album ever. Bitch!