Slandering the name of Mathew Ledbetter for the libel’s sake.
By Adam “The Hammer” Davis

I bring this column, which I assure you will be recurring, so as to call attention to a public nemesis. Matt Ledbetter or Ledbetter or simply “Poptart”, has been perpetrating crimes against society and now it is time that he is exposed for the villain he is.

-Matt Ledbetter stole a car.
I saw him do it. I was in a parking lot on the campus of UNC-G and I saw Matt Ledbetter break into a car, hotwire it and drive away. I followed him to a chop shop where I actually saw him exchange the car for money.

-Matt Ledbetter Buys prostitutes.
I was there… undercover…. He took the money that he got from the chop shop from the FREAKIN’ CAR HE STOLE and bought a prostitute. Can you believe this guy?!

-Matt Ledbetter shot some guy one time.
I wasn’t actually there but he brags about it. He said, this guy came into the UPS store, (that’s where he works) and then, Matt Ledbetter says he shot the guy for no good reason. Seriously! Ask him!

-Matt Ledbetter used to party with Def Leopard.
Yep.

-Matt Ledbetter hates cute little babies and wants them all destroyed.
He said that if he ever saw another baby, he would have it destroyed. He gave no further details except that he would have it destroyed.

-Matt Ledbetter is a perpetrator of Tax Fraud.
Seriously. This guy claims he has six undestroyed babies, when really all they are little plastic babies that he collected after eating like sixty king cakes in front of homeless people saying “Ha Ha! I am a glutton. No you cannot have any! I bet you are very, very hungry. Too bad, because I am Matt Ledbetter and no one can stop me! ” I know. I was there during Mardi gras when it happened. I was totally pissed off. But yeah, He claims the king cake babies as his dependant children.

These are just a few of the points in my case against this menace to society. But don’t worry, I’ll do some awesome detective work and bring you more evidence for the prosecution next month.

As Always,
-A